Sunday, September 18, 2005

The Unworthian: Week 3

Penalty for Holes in Walls: Holes in Wrists.
Threat of crucifixion should deter $15.25 worth of damage the holes cause, Housing says.

SAGA to follow popular Sundae Sunday’s with Mundane Mondays.
Ruby Tuesdays too expensive, culinary giant claims.

Locking Bike to Carton of Ice Cream a Mistake, Security Experts say.
Experts recommend handcuffing bike to own wrists, swallowing key.

Liberals: Bush to blame for Debt, Poverty, War, Terrorism, Global Warming
Hurricane Katrina, AIDS, Spanish Inquisition, Lactose Intolerance, and the movie Alexander.
“Selected not Elected! No Blood for Oil!” They add, helpfully.

Science wrong, scientists discover.
“Well, it was fun while it lasted,” Scientists say.

Scientists: Paranoia causes cancer.
Excessive worrying, concern about health, unhealthy.