Sunday, September 18, 2005

Warren Rules that weren't ratified in the RAP Policy meeting

1)The First Rule of Warren Hall: Don’t talk about Warren Hall.

2)Don’t eat from the tree of knowledge.

3)Gas Masks mandatory on Third West.

4)You can only speak to your Senator when spoken too.

5)Never leave a man behind! Women, however, can find their own way back.

6)Quiet hours don’t apply when you’re having a dance party in your room.

7) The “Big three” complemented by the “Medium-Sized four”
-Tapping your fake nails on metal surfaces.
-Singing along to rap music that contains incorrect grammar.
-Excessive Celebration.
-Gratuitous references to over quoted Monty Python Sketches

8)Holes in a room’s wall bigger than a mature bull ox will not be

9)Genocide? That’s a no-no.

10) No using the fire escape. Even if there’s a fire. The fire-escape is not designed to hold your weight, quite frankly. You fatty fatty fatso.

11) If you see somebody from the Village, punch them in the face.

12) Residence leaving food in common areas for more than three weeks shall be forced to eat said food.

13)Those caught stepping on cracks in sidewalks shall have one (1) of their mother’s vertebrates snapped for each offense.

14)The Law of Gravity is to be in full effect at all times. Those who violate this rule will be hung upside down from the floor for three hours.

15) Don’t feed the Dinosaurs.