Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Take that Gonzaga!

So the dearth of publicity about Whitworth has finally ended! We finally get the recognition we deserve, and in a quality publication like the Spokesman "Registration Required" Review, as well.

The Bad News. It's not a glowing article about sports, or community service, or scientific discoveries made in the SAGA food. It's mainly focused about two Whitworth kids lining up, eyes aglow, ready to see the opening of Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Excessively Long Title.

In one sense it's heartening. There are still kids out there willing to waste an excessively long amount of time for something useless they believe in. (It's kinda like the Democratic Convention. Ha!)

But in the other sense, this shows that Spokane, sadly, is a dying city. In a city like Seattle there would be HUNDREDS of Star Wars fans lined up in the cold wet rain to see something they could easily get into the next day.
We have but two. Always two there are. No more. No less.
By the way, big warning about reading the Spokesman Article. There are MAJOR SPOILERS. Which I shall reproduce fiendishly without a spoiler warning.

After that cheer-inducing yellow script scrolls, "Star Wars" super fans will watch as characters Master Yoda, Obi Wan Kenobi, Emperor Palpatine and Anakin Skywalker, otherwise known as Darth Vader, log their final cinematic appearances in "Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith," the sixth and reportedly last film to be released in the series.
ANAKIN SKYWALKER IS DARTH VADER! Oh, my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Now that I think about it, it all becomes clear.

Anakin Skywalker= Whiny
"I wanna become a Jedi. My mom died. Wah. Wah. Wah!"
Darth Vader= Whiny.
"But Officer Needddaaaa.... I wanted the Millennium Falcon! Gosh! Your lack of faith is soooo DISTURBING! *Stomp Stomp Stomp* *SLAM* *Choke Choke Choke*"
The only thing that doesn't make sense is the voice. Anakin sounds kinda like Hayden Christiansen, whereas Darth Vader has a voice almost reminiscent of James Earl Jones. Maybe Anakin goes through puberty in this episode. I can't wait to see what effect Teen Angst has on a Jedi.

Let's just hope the movie turns out quality. Good things there's no anagram for "Sith" describing a "substance of inferior quality."