Thursday, May 12, 2005

So why does this Blog still suck?

Huh, Walters? Why? Why is it not overflowing with rich, analytical, Whitworth College goodness?

Well, hypothetical questioner, there's several reasons for that.

1) I'm afraid I'm very ill. As happens to many students at the end of the school year, I have been stricken with a nasty case of AIDS (Apathy Induced Dangnab Syndrome). The symptoms include not going to class, not going to study, not going to lunch, and not going to update a blog that nobody reads. 'Cept now.

2) Maybe I am updating it, but you never stopped to listen. Ever, thought of that, hypothetical questioner? Huh?

3) The real blogs going to hit the fan next year with the release of the First Stall Street Journal (Print Edition). Look for the following things.

-Satirical UnWorthian Headlines covering things such as Local Events, World Events, National Events, and Ben Affleck and Princess Diana (Is their secret marriage in trouble?!)

-Weather reports that give you absolutely no information about the weather.

-Letters and comments from people throughout Warren Hall.

-Sports Trivia. But unlike other Sports Trivia sites, this Sports Trivia is completely wrong and made up.

-Hard-Hitting Fiskings of Whitworthian Articles.

-Completely Inane and useless updates on the dangnab consarn state of things these days.

-Crazy hat day!